Home again

I got back from California yesterday evening after spending a lovely four days with Mom and friends. There is so much to tell about these past few days that I'm going to have to do it over a few days, and probably not in chronological order.

Where to start? The flight out was uneventful, which is always how I like them (though I'm a sucker for turbulence -- I think it makes the flight more interesting and keeps me from somehow imagining that I'm sitting in a really uncomfortable seat in some small crowded room somewhere). The Thanksgiving crowd was very light at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport, I imagine because most people left on Wednesday.

The flight back to Minneapolis was equally uneventful, though it was delayed approximately 20 minutes. I knew this, having checked my flight status before leaving Mom's house. When I got to the San Jose airport I wanted to get a Togo's sandwich for the flight since Northwest Airlines now charges $5-$7 for your in-flight meal. However, Togo's is now trapped in the secure area of Terminal C and you can only get to it if you have an Alaska Airlines ticket. Even though Northwest flies out of the same terminal, its boarding pass won't get you into the Alaska gate area. No Togo's for me. Lame!

I proceeded to the other end of the terminal to the Northwest gates and got in line for the security screening. I did the usual shuffle to get everything into a bin and empty my pockets and prepared to go through the metal detector. Just as I was about to go through the detector the TSA people said "We recommend you take off your shoes." Having been through many airport metal detectors with these particular shoes, I know that they don't cause any issues and so I never remove them. Saves everyone time and it's never been an issue. I walked right through the detector, which was silent, as the TSA person on the other side of the metal detector repeated "We recommend you take off your shoes."

I responded "Why? They obviously didn't set off the detector." and she responded, with a slightly exasperated look, "Well, let me see your soles." I showed her the bottom of my left shoe. She then repeated her statement, "We recommend you remove your shoes." I said "That's fine, I'm ignoring your recommendation then." To which she responded "Well, then you'll have to go through extended security screening, and you'll have to take off your shoes in that." I replied "Fine, let's do the extended security screening." I'm thinking, if she's going to be stupid about what the word "recommend" means, I'm going to be a pain in the ass regarding her "recommendation".

At that point she blurted out "Just take off your shoes!" Having been given a command, rather than just a recommendation, I walk back through the still silent metal detector, take off my shoes (after struggling with the knots, which of course under pressure immediately seize up into super hold triple knots), hold them up and say "Now what do you want me to do with them?" genuinely wondering. She pointed to X-ray machine and I dropped them on the conveyor belt. Meanwhile the people behind me were standing patiently, though one imagines slightly ticked off, waiting for my little show to be over.

I walked through the metal detector (which was still silent) once more, was thanked by the TSA lady, grabbed my bag, waited for my shoes to come through, and then walked away. As a silent protest, I walked in my socks all the way to my gate before putting my shoes back on.

Next time, I think I'm going to pack my shoes and socks and go through the airport barefoot. I briefly considered going through in just a Speedo, but I'm just too self conscious to pull that off. However, a few more incidents of TSA people being stupid and I might just get over my inhibitions.